The Minister Of Information

What a difference 40 years makes...

"The good thing about zombie games is that they never die!" - 12/7/09

"I removed the cock... I cut it off!" - 5/8/09

"There is something very creepy about my friend." - 10/16/08

"It had some fuzzy logic that was growing some extra, unwanted fuzz." - 10/10/08

"What if I no longer want to play as FeatherDuster, but want to play as Vacuum?" - 10/02/08

"I would experiment with real light sparse grass." - 10/01/08

"Last night I just slept with by best girl friend's boyfriend." - 8/28/08

"How all the viruses got up there I do not know." - 8/20/08

"You can't kill a vampire without giving a stupid one liner." - 8/18/08

"NovaLogic is bad..." - 8/07/08

"I plan on working here until John Junior is at the helm." - 7/31/08

"Garcia finally ran this place into the ground." - 7/23/08

"Is it possible that we're storing them in the wrong pipe?" - 6/19/08

"VOXELS are like fruit on a grapevine." - 6/17/08

"The only videocards that help performance are typically not supported." - 6/17/08

"Every shot missed = a happy player." - 2/25/08

"We've always considered rotation unimportant." - 2/22/08

"I am going to replace our network system with a zero-latency one." - 2/22/08

"I don't feel completely comfortable looking at a guy as fully loaded as that." - 2/13/08

"Noon is particularily devistating on a terrain." - 2/11/08

"There is no math, there is just 3 multiplies." - 1/14/08

"The best thing about Christmas is that you can actually find a Novalogic game on the shelf." - 12/08/07

"In real life, you don't know where your butt is." - 10/19/07

"Constructors are like 'the man.' They take away control." - 08/22/07

"I dare say we've actually shipped games in the past." - 11/30/06

"NANS were invented on Mork and Mindy." - 9/29/06

"It's painfully slow with almost no benefit." - 7/13/06

"My balls are doing square roots up the wazoo!" - 6/02/06

"All my neighbours have goats or sheep or whatever turns them on. I have a cat." - 1/24/06

"My cat eats coyotes. It will weigh about 450 pounds" - 1/24/06

"E_FAIL taunts you!" - 10/07/05

"You can't breed fixed cats." - 8/05/05

"I've seen the entire internet." - 7/27/05

"I am always right, except when I am wrong." - 7/18/05

"Cloning is not contraversial at all." - 7/13/05

"I hate it when Kunta is right, which is next to never." - 7/08/05

"Leaving Novalogic would be a humungus mistake." - 6/25/05

"I must be boring now, my page isn't getting 100,000 hits a day anymore." - 6/14/05

"Assembly is what I think in." - 5/26/05

"With a little bit of effort, NovaWorld could be something that people actually want." - 4/20/05

"Egads! It's 10am and I've been at work for something like 24 hours." - 3/05/05

"People will pay money for free!" - 3/24/05

"There's no game that I've seen whose AI consists of more than a few lines of code." - 2/16/05

"I don't like having my eyeballs ripped out of my sockets and being forced to look at butts." - 2/01/05

"That appears to have been entirely my fault!" - 1/25/05

"I think Kunta's wife actually got some pants for Christmas." - 1/10/05

"All we need to do is bone the Mouth." - 11/23/04

"I love Mouths" - 12/23/04

"It shouldn't be this hard." - 12/16/04

"It's all about receiving." - 12/14/04

"It's going to work in the next game." - 11/04/04

"What doesn't compile about it?" - 10/31/04

"If the math was right, it would be great!" - 10/23/04

"A couple of extra inches makes all the difference." - 9/27/04

"There must be a hole in my sack or somthing." - 9/25/04

"I want a 3D version of my body to play with." - 9/10/04

"I'm not sure of anything." - 9/07/04

"We're into the realm of the extremely silly." - 9/01/04

"Work on the meat and then the fluff. And it's debateable what one considers the meat or fluff." - 8/18/04

"I'm fuzzing packets." - 8/05/04

"My girlfriend and I were going to do it last night, but she had that blue screen." - 7/22/04

"Most people buy on rumor and sell on fact. You want to buy on rumor and sell BEFORE rumor!" - 7/21/04

"Deeez Nutts!" - 7/13/04

"I'm going to un-fuck it in the ass!" - 7/09/04

"You have to be a hardcore hacker to take out an Ethernet card!" - 7/06/04

"If we were to rapidly prototype, we could actually do games!" - 6/23/04

"Not everything in the game is destroyable, but everything in NovaWorld is!" - 6/23/04

"It involved a lot of cross dressing and wierd stuff." - 6/18/04

"The server occasionally yanks you." - 6/16/04

"Look, I'm the only reason this stinkin' company is still in business." - 6/14/04

"I probably have a hundred friends, and they are a hundred different religions." - 6/14/04

"I have friends in other countries and it is massively embarrassing." - 6/11/04

"I say we call it a fiasco and recover from it gracefully." - 6/07/04

"This whole "in out" thing kinda bugs me a little bit." - 6/07/04

"Even WE do not touch our poly's...because it's too freaken scary." - 6/03/04

"I'm gravitating to the strangeness." - 5/29/04

"I have a fix for the fix." - 5/29/04

"We're shooting mustard in smurf land." - 5/27/04

"Kunta is actually better than Eric." - 5/27/04

"I was actually tempted to make a fetish site for lip liner." - 5/26/04

"Do you need an eyebrow artist, Kunta?" - 5/26/04

"I guess there is evidence that not everybody has fast video cards." - 5/25/04

"I've always thought that MMX was much like the Jabberwocky!" - 5/24/04

"I'm going to jump back onto servicing the mission builders!" - 5/21/04

"I've never been in the armory...ever!" - 5/21/04

"Oh my god... Eric's been busy." - 5/21/04

"The best thing I saw at E3 was King." - 5/19/04

"They should replace the E3 booth babes with Joel look alikes!" - 5/09/04

"About once a year I spend about a day and re-write the MMX mixers!" - 5/06/04

"I build dozens of computers a day." - 5/06/04

"Joel is always happy!" - 5/01/04

"BlackHawk Down is not a multiplayer game!" - 4/29/04

"I don't write C++. Really, I don't!!" - 4/26/04

"I wish I could move everything into inline assembly!" - 4/26/04

"That's because Trevor broke the fire key that was broken by King." - 4/20/04

"There is still time to put a sticker on the box that says 'This software is completely worthless!'" - 4/19/04

"Do we have a machine here that can actually run the game?" - 4/17/04

"What I'm trying to do is introduce as much lag as possible." - 4/14/04

"It's doing a temporal Möbius loop of prediction!" - 4/14/04

"By stable I mean, 'Whoops it's crashing on my machine.'" - 4/13/04

"Kunta's wife apparently knows more than Google." - 4/12/04

"Death is hereditary." - 4/08/04

"Oh! Woops, that was a cut and paste error." - 4/06/04

"I saw some code that looks like it disappeared." - 4/03/04

"I love mouths." - 4/03/04

"It's the new way I re-did the lag." - 4/02/04

"They didn't bone the neck correctly." - 4/02/04

"I'll bend over for debugging!" - 4/02/04

"I pulled out about a third of the code after Black Hawk Down!" - 3/31/04

"I don't have headphones! I've never refered to headphones!" - 3/31/04

"Sometimes, even Garcia can out smart our AI." - 3/30/04

"All my bugs are actually features." - 3/29/04

"Now Wait! Garcia occassionally simulates intelligence." - 3/29/04

"Maybe I blew somthing. I'll look at it." - 3/29/04

"E3 is like a chimpanzee mating ritual." - 3/26/04

"The only thing that keeps the game alive is blink boxes." - 3/24/04

"There's a billion colon colon pumps in this game." - 3/23/04

"I think that Joel is way more useful than my headphones." - 3/18/04

"I wish my sideburns were like Joel's." - 3/16/04

"If we only knew what we were going to do before we did it, it would be alot cleaner." - 3/16/04

"Stroking will only make you pop out and come up quicker." - 3/14/04

"Then you put a little fudge in there." - 3/13/04

"I'm not as bad as Garcia." - 3/12/04

"Double Banging is better then tripple banging." - 3/11/04

"Not having a sex filter is going to be a harder sell." - 3/09/04

"Call back Joel and tell him you can't get it up." - 3/05/04

"We've made it so that our previous selves are in competition with our current selves." - 3/03/04

"When my head starts to hurt, I unloosen my belt." - 3/02/04

"Sure, we do a lot of things here that suck." - 2/28/04

"I have no opinion." - 2/26/04

"It's more of a size thing..." - 2/26/04

"I believe this game is almost shippable. And when I say shippable, I mean that it's not totally embarrassing." - 2/25/04

"Oh no, the biz server is full what should we do? I say we panic!" - 2/24/04

"We need to avoid design documents because they are very misleading." - 2/23/04

"I think he suffers from three day weekend stress phobia syndrome." - 2/18/04

"I've experimented with pretty much everything." - 2/10/04

"It's not lag. It's a discrepancy." - 2/9/04

"Ummm, what did I pull?" - 2/9/04

"I'd rather type a number in, because I'm better than a computer." - 2/4/04

"In theory, I'm supposed to do it." - 2/2/04

"That is a recipe for insanity." - 2/2/04

"I'm not watching the Superbowl because I'm not gay and I'm not a woman." - 1/30/04

"MMX is faster to type than C." - 1/29/04

"I double dutied it because I was just too lazy to add a new one." - 1/29/04

"It depends upon how you eat your meat." - 1/28/04

"I like toasting stuff!" - 1/23/04

"It seems wrong to flush after each one." - 1/22/04

"I broke my thumb one time. It got smashed between two balls." - 1/21/04

"I was thinking about yanking it and then checking in the goodness." - 1/19/04

"I don't know everything the compiler does." - 1/15/04

"I had a gardener once. His name was Jesus." - 1/15/04

"I don't eat protein bars anymore. I drink the liquid stuff now!" - 1/12/04

"That's not what I said." - 1/12/04

"I've seen mountain lions around here, but they've never jumped on my head and dragged me off. I would have remembered that." - 1/9/04

"Sometimes, I wish that my DWORD was longer." - 1/8/04

"You might as well kludge it in like all the other gametypes." - 12/16/03

"I just got some action." - 12/15/03

"I think the artists should start making object-oriented artwork." - 12/10/03

"I can do anything I want with his body." - 12/8/03

"I would never get married to a woman!" - 12/5/03

"Jason Tull wants to eat rod." - 12/3/03

"I killed 2 people" - 12/1/03

"Oh no, I'm confused now." - 12/1/03

"DCBs are your friends. Well, they're my friends at least." - 11/26/03

"Comanche 4 was a better first person shooter than Counter Strike." - 11/26/03

"'Physics' is a loose term." - 11/25/03

"How many bytes long is your DWORD?" - 11/25/03

"It's trying to find the perfect sized hole." - 11/21/03

"We're allowed to grow holes and slip into holes." - 11/21/03

"I like to use red Colgate. It makes my teeth really white." - 11/20/03

"Well yeah, I did say that." - 11/19/03

"Kunta is my hero! He can write batch files." - 11/18/03

"I wonder if you should install the prerequisite disk first." - 11/18/03

"Who the hell is Abdulo anyways?" - 11/14/03

"I'm trying to have hindsight now rather than later." - 11/12/03

"...sure this wasn't by design, but it turned out to be really slick." - 11/11/03

"I wrote it though, so I am at fault!" - 11/10/03

"Weren't we gonna do dogs?" - 11/6/03

"You can still get the guy off!" - 11/6/03

"I don't like to hit the shift key." - 11/5/03

"I probably need to pump it once I reach that point." - 11/4/03

"It's one of many partially implemented features." - 11/3/03

"I'm not really in costume yet." - 10/31/03

"It gives you some of that fun timing action! Like you'd find at a good miniture golf course!" - 10/28/03

"I don't have spurs on." - 10/24/03

"We really should concentrate more on the Kunta page." - 10/24/03

"I'm not smoothing. I'm snapping!" - 10/22/03

"The algorithm stochastically dithers!" - 10/22/03

"Ummm, I have a package for Hiriam Washington." - 10/21/03

"Tull's an artist, he should not be happy!" - 10/17/03

"I just discovered a legacy bug I accidentally programmed yesterday!" - 10/16/03

"I think Mark is responsible for the giant balls!" - 10/15/03

"All the balls get shoved into the ball queue!" - 10/15/03

"I thought there was dick waving going on!" - 10/10/03

"I have no plan." - 10/7/03

"Actually, I have a little bit of a problem which is unrelated to my previous problems." - 10/3/03

"My spider sense is tingling, telling me there may be danger ahead." - 10/2/03

"It's an easy way to maintain control without going fully anal." - 9/30/03

"...it might hit a big, fat, ass waypoint..." - 9/25/03

"You want to remove the perceptiveness from color perception." - 9/25/03

"I want to do an excited electron valence lighting model." - 9/23/03

"He is saving out bad bad files." - 9/22/03

"There is a break somewhere between theory and reality." - 9/16/03

"Fuck! Why can't you say 'Fuck' more?" - 9/16/03

"It's my fault." - 9/10/03

"It's certainly not anymore clear." - 9/10/03

"I'm probably doing somthing stupid." - 9/9/03

"Last year I got attacked by a bobcat... well, it definately looked at me." - 9/8/03

"The snake was enormous. It was at least a foot long!" - 9/8/03

"I'm never getting married. I'm just going to have a harem." - 9/5/03

"So when is Kunta changing his last name?" - 8/26/03

"If it's not worth pumping, it will go to sleep." - 8/25/03

"My grandmother had children." - 8/25/03

"There's not any problems with my opinion." - 8/21/03

"I was out with a group of guys and one guy came..." - 8/21/03

"The fun begins even before you get into the game." - 8/21/03

"It's already been kludged to it's limits!" - 8/19/03

"Moving objects are things you just don't want." - 8/19/03

"Wouldn't you rather have a guy put a digital sensor in you?" - 8/18/03

"It's all just one big fuzzy clump." - 8/18/03

"I am all for putting stuff in, in a generalized way. As long as it helps the next game." - 8/12/03

"I thought it would be funny if you were asking him for his gay voice." - 8/8/03

"Strangely, my code still works. It just doesn't work well." - 8/8/03

"Ummm. Hmmm." - 8/7/03

"Comanche 1 was the first real modern game." - 8/7/03

"Most people know what I'm up to." - 8/7/03

"I'm just used to putting in partial features like that which aren't completely thought out..." - 8/5/03

"Anytime you're all checked in, you're free to go on vacation." - 8/4/03

"I'm seeing them play with themselves." - 8/1/03

"Give a few meter fudge." - 7/31/03

"Nothing comes for free." - 7/28/03

"I would never spend more than $500 on an engagement ring." - 7/23/03

"As it shortens, it will slip up the shaft." - 7/21/03

"You need to get those NADS close to your face." - 7/17/03

"Now you're quoting me quoting Kunta." - 7/22/03

"What? I'm not going to fix it, I'm too fuckin' lazy!" - 7/17/03

"When did I say that?" - 7/16/03

"Have Harley, need bitch." - 7/16/03

"I tried beer last year & it sucked. I'll get around to trying coffee next year." - 7/16/03

"I heard it from my sources in Japan!" - 7/15/03

"We don't need strippers, we need Arousal Engineers."

"Ummm, you should do some math or something."

"Ummm, I see him all the time. But I don't remember what he looks like."

"Since my dentist got me up to date with my dental skills, I think that I'm going to do my girlfriend next."

"I dont like food. I think it is overrated."

"How can anyone be more GQ than me?"

"I dislike strip clubs. They tend to be poorly decorated."

"I get attractive girls, not rich girls."

"I went to Cal State Disneyland."

"In an ideal world you don't want to be disoriented unless you intentionally want to be."

"I went to an actual college."

"I would do something in the most innocuous way possible."

"I don't like floating point stacks. They Suck!"

"The only problem with the particle system is that it is quite good."

"The problem is everything has to react to the universe."

"I like to start checking for the spheres below their knees."

"Come backs are for people who use come backs."

"Using vice grips to clamp the shaft is best."

"Women love it when you put butt kickers under your couch."

"I am in by 10:30 every morning."

"Our AI is cutting edge."

"Physics are a good thing!"